The Fairy Dog Mom's Bedtime Stories

I've known for awhile that my house smells like dog, that my car does and that I probably do too. The hair, the dirt, the slobber...everything you'd expect from someone who lives with lotsa dogs. But I sank to a new 'low' recently. As the dogs were taking their morning pee today I came scarrrrrry close to just lifting my robe, squatting, and peeing in the grass along with them.  Very close! It felt like the natural thing to do---woof!

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Two of my little guests are notorious for stepping in water bowls, counter surfing and generally "talking" a lot --especially at mealtime. So when I bid farewell to two of the cutest chocolate labs ever this morning I broke down and cried. They won't be coming back because they are moving out of state. You would have thought they were my own or that'd I'd known them for a decade, but no. I guess that's why I'm a Fairy Dog Mom....and a cry baby!

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You were going to read about the five cutest dog moments: oh the tail-chasing...the darling head tilt some dogs do when they're looking at you sideways - literally...the thrilled-with-themselves look they get when they run up to you with toy in mouth...or how about when a puppy gets his head stuck somewhere funny like a purse strap or kitchen chair. And I just love a little dog's purposeful trot - the motionless body and legs in step to "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!"

But this morning as of 10:00am, I have actually lost count of how many pee splatters I have cleaned already, 8-9?  How does this happen? When? Who? And it's not that I blame anyone---though I did catch two of you! Darn it, the door was open and okay, so it's drizzling outside. Well bless their bionic noses and my unique set up here, I agree that peeing and marking indoors really is more comfortable.

And these are guests I speak of so I must accommodate! In their defense I have yet to find the product that erases the pee scent from three guests ago, not even the vet -recommended Icky Poo. I don't mind being a Markologist - But the ritual stinks-pun intended: the paper towel blotting, spraying products, replacing of blankets and towels, the sniff tests, handwashing, laundry... I vow to find a better solution, a perfect system! And it will not involve plastic furniture or linoleum.

Maybe I could get the Nate TV Show to come do a makeover for my 'dog house!' I know with some new pee-proof area rugs and furnishings I can have doggy style and function! Yes, I will apply right now ; D

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I do lotsa things around here that really aren't weird--but the fact that I do them with an audience of dogs is weird, (so I am told by clients and friends)! 

Weirdest is probably my bathroom duties. Sorry, TMI! But I love baths and this provides a really fun activity for dogs who like water, bubbles, lotion etc.  : )  Then there is my bedroom: around 3-7 doggies in/on my bed and sometimes as many on the floor nearby. (Shocking I don't have a boyfriend??!)

When I entertain it's a unique experience for my human guests. They must be prepped for the slobber, the noise and the hair! But that doesn't subtract from a delicious meal we enjoy from inside a giant kennel/gate I set up around our table. In the kitchen, I step carefully so as to not step on one of the labs sprawled across the floor or drooling next to the counter. What? That's not gross is it? ; )

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Last night I couldn't get comfortable. But it's my fault. I have a queen bed and a single bed pushed together, about six different comforters and an assortment of pillows. Add Carlo and Hiro the labs, Buster the boxer, Bella the Basset and Spencer the Jack Russel Terrorist. No problem.

I start off okay and then some time in the middle of the night everyone is on me, literally...either their fat heads or boney little legs. But do I dare move them? No. I do the moving. I sleep in the crack between the two beds for an hour or two and then move horizontal across the beds. Press rewind and repeat several times until morning. But hey, we woke up to blue sky, snow and a rainbow!

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